Thursday, 31 May 2007

Scented Oxters

No doubt you've heard tell of my fabulous toilet paper conservation efforts? The fact that the electric heater's still in its box? Well, chalk up another victory for Hôtel Harlot on the Tablet of Thrift: this week our first Melburnean quarterly water bill arrived, and I'm proud to say that, according to Yarra Valley Water's estimates, we've been using an average of 66 litres per day, as compared to the 91 litres per day consumed by previous inhabitant, Lulu W. I, of course, am considerably smellier in the armpit department than Lulu W. ever was, but aromatic armpits are not without their uses. No need for me to elaborate, I'm sure.

7 comments:

wool spaniel said...

I had been feeling quite proud that our garden, five spaniels and two cats were going through a grand total of 433 litres per day.

But you have put us to shame. Clearly our efforts are not a patch on the Harlot House, where Level 17 Water Restrictions seem to apply. (Level 17: feet may only be washed using water from a toothpick dipped into a thimble between the hours of 3am and 5am on the second and fourth Wednesday of the month.)

nailpolishblues said...

This is random and completely off topic but thank you for making my blog the #1 Google search for 'labrador's name'.

It amuses me in so many ways.

Karen said...

One day you will have to publish your frugality tips, for we wasteful mere mortals who can only aspire.

alexis said...

433 litres is fantastic, Woolly! You just need to cut out toilet flushing, showering and washing up and Bob'll be your uncle.

Nails, that's lovely to hear. I'm still leading the internet on "quattrocento ichtheology", though.

Karen, I will write to Cambridge U. P. today.

JahTeh said...

I use below the level for a single person dwelling in a house but the charges are the same if I was emptying the dams myself.

Smelly armpits keep fleas away and friends, students, potential suitors but not bloggers.

TimT said...

Um, you're selling the pheromones thereby produced to Wunderkammer?

No, no, you're quite right, I won't ask.

alexis said...

If only I knew how to harvest pheremones, you bet, I'd be auctioning them off on ebay.