Friday, 11 May 2007

Bonjour, tout almond

Tomorrow I am going to the Wondilligong Nut Festival. You can make the puns yerselves.

12 comments:

wool spaniel said...

No puns yet, but what about an anagram?

LUST-LOVING WINO, DEFLATING.

TimT said...

Be sure not to eschew an issue of cashews from your final nut count!

JahTeh said...

"Nut festival" but I thought Parliament wasn't sitting this week.

alexis said...

The anagram is brilloo, Woolly, and JT and TT, you've done me proud.

As for cashews: human shoes are just called shoes, but cashews are called tyres. (Ho ho. Hm.)

Speaking of shoes, this here human walked all the way from Bright to Wandilligong, all seven kms or whatever it was, only to find that there wasn't a cashew in sight. The nut festival overfloweth with local produce of the home-made crab apple jelly variety, but the nuts were confined to a tressle table or two in the middle of a paddock, and consisted only of chestnuts, hazelnuts and walnuts. Nothing against any of 'em nuts, but I'd had others in mind.

TimT said...

Aw, nuts to all the nuts in the Wondiligong nut business!

Did you hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants?

When asked about it, he said, 'It's driving me nuts!'

Karen said...

(Spluttering)

Rip off!

alexis said...

I shared a variation on that steering wheel number with my eminent progenitors this morning, and the dad suggested that I'd been keeping improper company.

TimT said...

A fellow worker/sufferer at my current and previous place of employ (we got bought out and shifted office - short version of a long story) would cry 'It's driving me nuts' at various times of crisis, so I thought to myself, 'Ha ha! I have the perfect joke for her!' And when I did use it a month or so later, it worked like a charm.

Now if I could only learn to be interested in football, we'd get along like a house on fire...

TimT said...

Although of course, it's all in the delivery. If you end with the punchline, "It's navigating my testicles!" or "It's orienteering my gonads!" all you'll get are strange looks. And I get them anyway.

alexis said...

Ah, yes. Perhaps I'll include those in my forthcoming "101 Occasions When Using a Thesaurus Just Won't Cut the Mustard".

TimT said...

Knives are better than thesauruses (theasauri?) when it comes to cutting the mustard, I have found.

wool spaniel said...

Lexi, your thesaurus idea could become a franchise!

One of the companion volumes could be "101 Occasions When Using An English-French Dictionary Just Won't Cut the Moutarde".

My classmate's word-for-word translation into French of "I have a frog in my throat" brought tears to the eyes of our teacher.