The anagram is brilloo, Woolly, and JT and TT, you've done me proud.
As for cashews: human shoes are just called shoes, but cashews are called tyres. (Ho ho. Hm.)
Speaking of shoes, this here human walked all the way from Bright to Wandilligong, all seven kms or whatever it was, only to find that there wasn't a cashew in sight. The nut festival overfloweth with local produce of the home-made crab apple jelly variety, but the nuts were confined to a tressle table or two in the middle of a paddock, and consisted only of chestnuts, hazelnuts and walnuts. Nothing against any of 'em nuts, but I'd had others in mind.
I shared a variation on that steering wheel number with my eminent progenitors this morning, and the dad suggested that I'd been keeping improper company.
A fellow worker/sufferer at my current and previous place of employ (we got bought out and shifted office - short version of a long story) would cry 'It's driving me nuts' at various times of crisis, so I thought to myself, 'Ha ha! I have the perfect joke for her!' And when I did use it a month or so later, it worked like a charm.
Now if I could only learn to be interested in football, we'd get along like a house on fire...
Although of course, it's all in the delivery. If you end with the punchline, "It's navigating my testicles!" or "It's orienteering my gonads!" all you'll get are strange looks. And I get them anyway.
12 comments:
No puns yet, but what about an anagram?
LUST-LOVING WINO, DEFLATING.
Be sure not to eschew an issue of cashews from your final nut count!
"Nut festival" but I thought Parliament wasn't sitting this week.
The anagram is brilloo, Woolly, and JT and TT, you've done me proud.
As for cashews: human shoes are just called shoes, but cashews are called tyres. (Ho ho. Hm.)
Speaking of shoes, this here human walked all the way from Bright to Wandilligong, all seven kms or whatever it was, only to find that there wasn't a cashew in sight. The nut festival overfloweth with local produce of the home-made crab apple jelly variety, but the nuts were confined to a tressle table or two in the middle of a paddock, and consisted only of chestnuts, hazelnuts and walnuts. Nothing against any of 'em nuts, but I'd had others in mind.
Aw, nuts to all the nuts in the Wondiligong nut business!
Did you hear the one about the guy who walked into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants?
When asked about it, he said, 'It's driving me nuts!'
(Spluttering)
Rip off!
I shared a variation on that steering wheel number with my eminent progenitors this morning, and the dad suggested that I'd been keeping improper company.
A fellow worker/sufferer at my current and previous place of employ (we got bought out and shifted office - short version of a long story) would cry 'It's driving me nuts' at various times of crisis, so I thought to myself, 'Ha ha! I have the perfect joke for her!' And when I did use it a month or so later, it worked like a charm.
Now if I could only learn to be interested in football, we'd get along like a house on fire...
Although of course, it's all in the delivery. If you end with the punchline, "It's navigating my testicles!" or "It's orienteering my gonads!" all you'll get are strange looks. And I get them anyway.
Ah, yes. Perhaps I'll include those in my forthcoming "101 Occasions When Using a Thesaurus Just Won't Cut the Mustard".
Knives are better than thesauruses (theasauri?) when it comes to cutting the mustard, I have found.
Lexi, your thesaurus idea could become a franchise!
One of the companion volumes could be "101 Occasions When Using An English-French Dictionary Just Won't Cut the Moutarde".
My classmate's word-for-word translation into French of "I have a frog in my throat" brought tears to the eyes of our teacher.
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