Saturday, 19 May 2007

Noone can say he didn't try

"Hey lady, I'll buy you a drink? No? How about a souvlaki?"

15 comments:

Karen said...

Oh Alexis! How could you decline?

alexis said...

If only I hadn't been hurrying home with a six-pack of toilet paper under my arm ...

alexis said...

N.B. Don't go thinking that we at Hôtel Harlot have started getting profligate with the toilet paper. For those who are interested, my menage has been on the go now for fourteen weeks exactly, and we've only just gotten through the thirteenth roll.

alexis said...

This is where certain members of the Leichhardt Ladies' Hostel start muttering "obsessive-compulsive disorder", under their breath. I hate it when they do, because there are only nine syllables in "obsessive-compulsive disorder" and I only like psychopathologies can come in multiples of five syllables.

alexis said...

Psychopathologies THAT come in multiples of five syllables. See! I'm getting antsy already.

Karen said...

Personally I find the toilet paper parsimony thoroughly charming, although I'm not sure I could live up to it myself. I've always been very fond of psychopathologies, although I am too slack and lazy to develop a full-blown one myself.

By a probably not very fascinating coincidence, the most terrifying "buy you a drink" offer I've had took place in the ladies' toilets. I scurried off rather quickly.

wool spaniel said...

Here at the kennel, we have a strong preference for double-length rolls. The young spaniels are only partially house-trained when it comes to replacing the empty roll, so this strategy halves the risk of being left high and dry, so to speak.

JahTeh said...

You gave up a Souvlaki? And booze?

Where are your feminist ethics? You should have taken both and ran like hell.

blue_haired_jennifer said...

Ah, rich and varied Australian mating rituals. Considering that British expertise appears to be limited to approaching me smiling and saying 'Innit?'- nothing more, nothing less- I long for the complexity of my native land...

TimT said...

'Innit'? Is that a preposition, a proposition, or a presupposition?

Karen said...

When my younger sister was in the UK, she was quite traumatised by the abrupt greeting "You alright?". She found it quite unnerving and was always having to repress the urge to blurt out "Why wouldn't I be?".

From my sister's observations, English mating rituals are distinguished more than anything else by the donning of attire even less sensible than what is usually the case in other localities. So perhaps "innit" is actually an abreviation for "That's a very tight cumberband, innit?", followed by a toothy sympathetic grin. Perhaps in your case they are really saying "That's very nice blue hair, innit?", with a grin of appreciation.

blue_haired_jennifer said...

Timt: It's a preposterous-ition, that's what it is.

Karen: My fellow antipodeans and I have formed a 'Fine Thanks' Club, because that's what we invariably answer when greeted with "You right?"

I find that "Innit?" can be responded to easily with "Quite", and a movement in the opposite direction, as fast as cummerbunds will allow.

Adrian said...

I am waiting for "No wise" to come back into popular English parlance. I may be waiting for a long time.

TimT said...

O Jennifer, thou of the blue-hair, I suggest installing a rocket-pack in your cummerbund. It's cheap and affordable, and the velocity of your various suitors will be easily overtaken by the rapidity of your cummerbund.

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