Friday 8 December 2006

Opa! Opa!

Out on the town with the Sassy Librarian last week, I bumped into a citoyenne from my old Balkan dance troupe; yea verily, the Balkan dance troupe I unceremoniously dumped in a fit of thesis-writing self-absorption two years ago. "You should come along next week", said she. And instantly I was awash with nostalgia for those heady days, prancing up and down the Ultimo Community Centre hall with my hands in the air, toe-tapping to those good old fashioned Macedonian time signatures (which reminds me, why isn't there more 5/8 and 7/16 around these days? Eminem? Thom Yorke? Paul McCartney? Anybody?), spending the next two days crippled and groaning. Sigh. On the other hand, do I really want to give up all that time? Time that could be spent watching Australian Princess. Or looking up hedgehogs on the internet.

Yargh. It's back to the pro/anti list, the preferred problem-solving device of philosophers and teenage girls' magazines the world over.

Pro: it'd be good preparation for Melborneo. They're notoriously shifty down there; I want to be light on my toes.

Anti: the Balkan bagpipe consists of an eviscerated goat, with some indifferently lengthed wooden tubes stuck into each orifice ( and not to get all bagpipe snooty on Eastern Europe, but there's something to be said for being in tune).

Pro: it'd develop my cultural sympathies with Nikolai, my fictitious Romanian paramour (don't worry, Nikolai; I say fictitious, but you're real to me, and yes, I agree, _Dracula_ is culturally insensitive and orientalist).

Anti: once I'm in the Balkan dance zone I start bouncing up and down at the bus-stop in 7/16 time and humming to myself through my nostrils. There are only so many times I can tell strangers I've had too much pseudoephedrine before they start suspecting I'm (a) lying, (b) in dire need of prayer and detox.

Pro: ok, this one may well clinch matters ...



Was ever there chocolate more wholesome? (No need to answer this one, mesdames; I have personally researched every species of chocolate known to western civilisation.) I met this particular bar at Mitzi & AJ's place a couple of months ago, and I've been emitting an inner glow ever since. In fact, I've started to look increasingly like this child, the old rosy-cheeked, soccer-playing, handy-with-a-chess-board look. If that's what Balkan chocolate can do for you, fancy the effects of a Bulgarian foxtrot.

6 comments:

TimT said...

If you fancy a Bulgarian foxtrot, then maybe you should try some Bulgarian prune juice. That will certainly give you the trots, though I'm not sure about the fox bit.

And 7/8 is so last century. These days, all the cool kids are into time signatures like 7/28 or 19/64. As for me, I'm a cerealist.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Ha! So, do you weigh your cerealism on a *scale*? (Geddit? Geddit? Hm.)

More importantly, thanks for the Bulgarian prune juice tip. I prefer my Trots to be handing me a copy of the Militant Pinko, but anything for a well-oiled machine.

Yours in keeping it regular

TimT said...

Yes, I weigh my cereals on a scale, and wash them down with a glass of tonic. (Ionian - the finest!)

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

We have now officially reached the outer limits of my musicology (a comment or two back, actually). Prune juice is more my field.

TimT said...

How did this conversation start again? Weren't we talking about foxy trots?

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Whoo, boy. That hammer-and-sickle business does it for me every time.