Thursday, 14 December 2006

The Human Jean Gnome Project

Have been too busy wearing my jeans and rescuing damsels in distress* to expand The Life and Opinions of Lexicon Harlot, Gentleperson, but if you happen to be dropping by and you're at a loose end, please complete the following: "On the twelfth day of continuous unwashed jeans wearing, my true love gave to me ..."


* All the thrills and spills of my knight errantry to be relayed just as soon as I've surmounted the hurdle that is thursday. For now, suffice to say that I've become a dab hand with a 2-tonne Hilux truck.

5 comments:

prude said...

TRUE LOVE gave to me ...

now this is a term many do not know because they is not pure. people nowadays is just wishing to have sex all the time but that is wrong, TRUE LOVE is what matters whih means waiting til marriage a concept some do not undersatnd clearly see my blog www.prudesmission.blogspot.com where some has left most imprudent comments I despair of them I really do.

Anyhow the rules is clear - no sex til TRUE LOVE which mean marriage.

OH and a true love will adopt a penguin in your name. That is a token of affection that is most magnanimous above all others. Penguins is the best creatures in the world. The love of the penguin is the utmost love there is. I know. You know. We all know ...

Northernhemisphere dear said...

On the twelfth day of continuous unwashed jeans wearing, my true love gave to me ...

Twelve dirty looks, eleven bars of soap, ten new pairs of jeans, nine pairs of possible alternative dress, eight more pairs of jeans, ...seven birds a singing? Oh, I don't know! Just wash your jeans already!

blue-haired jennifer said...

Twelve Omo packets
Eleven pegs for noses
Ten opened windows
Nine begging bribes
Eight perfume vials
Seven stealth attacks
Six calls to your mum

Five subtle hiiiints

Four washing machines
Three clean pairs
Two new separate beds
And a final ultimatum

..Actual true loves, of course, would simply pause in their massaging of your feet to gaze at you devotedly, and murmur praises of your newer, earthier smell. We all know that.

alexis said...

Prude: thanks for your contribution. I myself come from a long line of penguin-fanciers. On that other matter, celibacy is the new queer. It's good to see you're out and proud.

Northernhemisphere dear: you and your Seinfeldian locutions (already)! It's time to fly south for the winter, mereckons.

Blue-haired: you da lyricist! I'll give you a dollar if you go and sing this out the front of St Paul's Cathedral. England needs you.

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