Sunday, 3 December 2006

follicle, follicle, all is follicle

I was doing a spot of promenading today, at a beachside suburb that shall remain nameless, when my companion (let's call her the Sassy Librarian) and I had the misfortune to read this in the window of the Ladies' Beauty Emporium: Brazilian (with local anaesthetic) ONLY $45. The Sassy Librarian broke into delighted chuckles. She is from Brisvegas, national capital of Paris-Hiltonality, so is somewhat inured to the concept of depilation so vigorous it requires anaesthetic. I, on the other hand, broke into a cold sweat and began nervously adjusting my underpants.

It's not that I don't think women should have the right to pluck their nether regions. I support that right just as much as I support the right to cosmetic amputation, foot-binding and the use of uranium-based toothpaste. What appals me is that they're expected to pay "only" $45 for the pleasure. Surely parting with their hard-grown pubic hair is sacrifice enough: it's not like it reaches its full lustre overnight; it can take months to cultivate a healthy set of curls. Beauty parlours across the nation are harvesting Australia's Female Pubic Hair (FPH) at a rate of knots – Australia currently leads the world in black market FPH exports – and not only are the primary producers going unrewarded, but they're expected to PAY for their depilation. This kind of economic altruism may be good in the short term for GDP, but ultimately it's going to lead to mass disaffection among primary producers in the FPH sector.

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