Sunday, 22 June 2008

I was flagging but I Preston.

Only three more sleeps til I removal into my strata title bungalow (floorboard installers and removalists willing). My strata title bungalow, as I may have mentioned, is at the further-from-the-city, cheaper and less caffeinated end of Preston, the end which I choose to refer to as "Preston Heights". Today, while waiting for the tram in Preston Heights, I was asked by a couple of locals if I could spare three bucks for a drink. This, in my opinion, is the up-and-coming entrepreneurial spirit of Preston Heights writ small. It's only a matter of time before bold young souls like these turn Preston Heights into the Precinct of Posh it is clearly destined to become.

Preston Heights boasts:

1. Arguably Melbourne's northernmost his-and-hers coordinating subterranean toilets, literally just a stone's throw from my strata title bungalow.

If these do not become the most photographed loos north of the Yarra by 2010, then I am not the infallible prognosticator I think I am.

2. A matrimonial surveillance shopfront! Literally just five minutes' walk from my new strata title bungalow. What better way to save your marriage than have the professional spies of Preston Heights stalk your partner? This, and many other essential services (e.g., custom made screen doors), yours for the buying in Preston Heights!

3. Cad plotting. I'm not sure exactly what these words mean, and this sign was actually in lower Preston, but believe you me, cad plotting is coming soon to Preston Heights.

Three more sleeps. Begorrah.


eyrie said...

How very exciting!

Are the loos actually for sale or lease, as the sign in the first photo seems to suggest? Perhaps they will become a cafe and art gallery.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

The sign is advertising one of seventeen besquillion beauty salons within a three hundred metre radius of the loos. The loos themselves are open for business between 10 am and 4 pm daily. I haven't seen anyone using them yet, but I live in hope.

eyrie said...

What a pity! I had visions of Taylor Square!

Ampersand Duck said...

Great post title.

I was asked for a ciggie by a fellow in a wheelchair the other day, and when I replied that I hadn't smoked in years, he stopped and asked me, seriously gobsmacked, 'How the f*ck did you manage that?!'

lucy tartan said...

Once the cad plotters move in you know the neighbourhood will never be the same again.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

But cad plotting will be a change for the better, no? Add a bit of bounderish intrigue to an otherwise virtuous community?

No small feat, giving up the cigarettes, Duck. I have a parent (I won't say which one, because he'd probably prefer not to be identified) who used to quit every year.

kris said...

Ah! I'm feeling nostalgic for that area! (I'm a former resident of what you might call Brunswick Heights... right round the corner from Crystal T's women's strip joint. You just don't get that kinda class here in Canberra!)

And I agree fantastic blog title and the toilet gallery! Wow

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

And yet ... Fyshwick. Thanks for dropping by, Kris.

By the way, my mum sends this enlightening information about CAD plotting:

TimT said...

I'm a former resident of what you might call Brunswick Heights... right round the corner from Crystal T's women's strip joint. You just don't get that kinda class here in Canberra!

We used to say in school, 'all arse, no class'. Melbourne is all arse, all class. You could say it's an improvement!

As to the cad plotting, I still stick with the traditional explanation. After all, cads have to have somewhere to plan out their caddish schemes of felony and blackguardness.