Many are my passions: beagles, chocolate, chocolate beagles, pumpkin vines that emerge unbidden from the compost heap, otters, the words "elbow", "propinquity", "lapislazuli" and "zebra", Polish folk choral stomping, Charles Darwin, coriander, turquoise millinery, the responsible conservation of toilet paper, epaulettes, Leon Trotsky's pince-nez, lentils, clydesdales, looking up pictures of hedgehogs on the internet, the daily execution of the Sydney Morning Herald crosswords, antique chaises-longues, swimming in the sea with goggles on, and, though this list is by no means exhaustive, analysis of the cultural signification of eyebrow plucking. Many, I say, are my passions. But no passion have I ever entertained so downright yellow as this passion. I bring you - yes I do - my new flame, the banana slug!
Hello, banana slug! Hello, favourite mollusk! Hey ho for your anaesthetic slime! Three cheers for your assistance in the decomposition of California's forest detritus! Hip hip hooray for the way you keep your genitals near your head!
The unsqueamish should go hither; the squeamish should stay away from the West Coast of Amerikay.