Tuesday 5 June 2007

Email renvoyé

The unsolicited e-pistles just get classier and classier. Check this one out:

Ceci est un message d'information envoyé par mx1.aastuce.net.
Le serveur n'a pas pu transmettre votre message
Subject: **SPAM** RE: Lovers package at discount price!
Date: Tue, 5 Jun 2007 05:49:49 +0200

Oui. C'est Continental Spam (luncheon meat for the aspiring multi-linguist), a welcome complement to my daily haul of proferred enlargements, bank transactions, university degrees, and please-your-lady-s – in English. Well, sort of English. While spam en Français is a step in the right direction, what I'm really holding out for is gratuitous correspondence in Welsh, or Estonian, or Old Icelandic. Even Middle English would suit me: "Gentyl redere, hast nat thy ladye complainst full sore? Thann buye ye VIAGRA for alles nyghtes plaisir."

N.B. I did not (just in case you were wondering) attempt to ping off an email titled "Lovers package at discount price!", or even "RE: Lovers package at discount price!" Had I been corresponding on the subject of lovers' packages, I promise ye, that there apostrophe would've stood out loud and clear.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

I wonder if one could learn a language via spam... Of course it would probably limit one's interactions somewhat!

I don't know why I'm so blessed, but I'm spammed very rarely, so thank you for the updates on what I'm missing.

TimT said...

Not that this is related to anything, but I notice 'Quattrocento Ichtheology' now has several listings on google, including, I might add, one spam 'Mortgage Info' website that appears to have been inspired by this blog!

Anonymous said...

I am afraid that the spam email I once received from 'XXXXX @ NothingAboutPenguins.com' is still the winner, linguistic tricks or no linguistic tricks.

Really? Nothing about penguins WHATSOEVER? But I was so looking forward to that!

Anonymous said...

Recently I have begun receiving SPAM in Cyrillic. Not sure what it says - possibly it is letting me know that there are some lonely ladies IN YOUR AREA NOW!!!!

Anonymous said...

What I like is just how indiscriminate spammers are in their audience. My work email address (which features very prominently the word PAYROLL) is not at all saucy sounding but nestled between the leave requests there's always a very generous offer for expansion or enlargement or somesuch.

I'm with Blue Hair though - NothingAboutPenguins is the best spamation address I've heard.

TimT said...

NothingAboutPenguins.

What would Prude say?

Anonymous said...

I don't know if this is still happening, but at one point the spammers were apparently pasting bits of Dickens into their emails to get past the spam filters. Maybe that's the sort of Penguin they meant!

Alextricity said...

Oh, how uplifting this particular blog!
I greatly appreciated your efforts at a Middle English spam message - very ingenious!
I sort the general emails for the [big] company I work for and, lo, some things that happen in the Inbox should stay in the Inbox!
:)

JahTeh said...

I went to my email after reading this yesterday. I seem to have lost the 'how to lose fat' ones and now I'm being offered positions in homeland security. Perhaps I am to be sunk and used as a breakwater near a naval base.
I like sailors.

lucy tartan said...

Yes they are quite nice aren't they (sailors.)

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Sailors? Sailors? Where's Horatio Hornblower when you need him?

Anonymous said...

My cousin is a sailor, but he's getting married soon.