Thursday, 14 June 2007

Don't fall in love with musicians!

"Women who fall in love with musicians need therapy. Women who fall in love with drummers are beyond hope."
- Some Blogger's Music Teacher

They're the ones with the lute and the gleam in their eye,
Who tune to B flat and strike up a song.
By the end of the chorus you're smitten as pie
And ready to whistle along.

Oh don’t fall in love with musicians!
They’re married already, ok!
Not even with their stage technicians!
Fa la la la la la la lay!

Though noone's denying they've beautiful souls
Or that harmony is a fine thing
You're snared by the sight of the snare drummer's rolls
While his heart's with the first violin.

Oh don't fall in love with musicians!
Though granted their fingers are quick!
They're wedded to their compositions!
Fa la la la la la la ick!

It don't matter if he plays triangle,
If she plays the Spanish guitar,
Or the latest punk rocking fandangle,
Or the electronic sitar.

Oh don't fall in love with musicians!
They spend their weekends on the stage!
And run off to endless auditions!
Fa la la la la la la age!

The alternatives are oh so num'rous:
There are grocers and bakers galore.
Yoga teachers I've heard are quite hum'rous
And podiatrists have good rapport.

Oh don't fall in love with musicians!
Turn your mind to quite different things!
Like lentils and lotus positions!
Fa la la la la la la ings!

17 comments:

alexis said...

Okay, so I realise it looks like rubbish there on your screen, but it works quite well if you put on your Bob Dylan voice and wrap your fingers round a few chords. Thornbury's rocking.

torshy said...

Nothing convinces like song. If I like the tune, you can persuade me to do almost anything. That must be how those dastardly musicians do it...

Karen said...

Thornbury's rocking its tea cups, no doubt!

It needs more Pound and Eliot references to be properly Bob.

alexis said...

Thornbury's just gotten through a whole red teapot of chai, in fact. Isn't Andrew Lloyd Webber the one who does the Eliot references? Old Possum's Book of Curious Cats deserves far more acknowledgement than it got, methinks.

Hanna, it's true. But we must be strong and wary. Otherwise we'll start advancing Australia fair or something equally dastardly.

TimT said...

Ing, indeed. I couldn't agree more.

Karen said...

(Polishing off my rasp).

And Ezra Pound and T. S. Eliot
Fighting in the captain's tower
While calypso singers laugh at them
And fishermen hold flowers
Between the windows of the sea
Where lovely mermaids flow
And nobody has to think too much
About Desolation Row


And also, funnily enough, in the same song:

Across the street they've nailed the curtains
They're getting ready for the feast
The Phantom of the Opera
A perfect image of a priest


You just gave me the excuse to do that, you realise. Of course I have a copy of Old Possum's, but I can't say I like it Weber-fied.

I've been drinking chai too. I was a bit worried about your level of tea tolerance when you said you didn't enjoy russian caravan, but this reassures me.

emmy said...

You dark horse you!

alexis said...

Dark horse? moi? Emmy, I merely pen a warning to young maidens and the male equivalent. A warning particularly to my good self, who is going to sit in on a couple of Gypsy Klesmer bands on sunday night (for free! the delights of neighbouring Northcote!), and may get a little giddy under the influence of mineral water and cranberry juice.

Karen, good point, but I think it's possible to get all Bob without mentioning Eliot and Pound. Thank you, though. You raise the tone.

emmy said...

Noel Coward more like.

Maria said...

Ah yes. No musicians. Trouble. Ah hem.

"Doesn't matter if he plays triangle ...?"

Is this some kind of reference to an inclination for threesomes?

alexis said...

Musicians call them trios.

TimT said...

... while poets call them triolets.

TimT said...

The Threesome That Became The Trio That Became The Triolet.

There's the girl who plays tunes on the Oboe D'Amour,
And the chap with the bass trombone;
But who will be third? A bold troubadour
To match the girl who plays tunes on the Oboe D'Amour?
Perhaps a Soprano who sings in Cologne
To match the girl who plays tunes on the Oboe D'Amour
And the chap with the bass trombone?

TimT said...

Whoops. Missed a line out there. And a triolet with a missing line is not a triolet at all, it's an abomination!

alexis said...

It's the oboe d'amour that I'm worried about.

TimT said...

Maybe I should have thrown in one of these for good measure.

Anonymous said...

I just met the hotest babe in the world. Shes a kickass drummer with the most beautiful smile this side of heaven. My Strat and I locked with her soul amd Im smitten. Her voice caresses my heart...uh.oh!!!