Could I be any more offensive? Could I really? Here I am, in one fell swoop, casting aspersions on the all-sufficiency of Turquoise honeyed pastries and dorsal massages, all for the sake of an altogether pointless pun. Sorry, world.
Bah, no doubt there was plenty o' room for a joke about footstool dynasties. Also, if possible, I would have tried to incorporate "secrétaire à abattant" in there, somewhere. I remain convinced hilarity would have ensued.
I'm sure your mum fully understands and is sympathetic to the cause. All I can do is point to the wise words of Jimmy Kennedy, as immortalised by They Might Be Giants:
Istanbul was Constantinople Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople Been a long time gone, Constantinople Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night
Every gal in Constantinople Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople So if you've a date in Constantinople She'll be waiting in Istanbul
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam Why they changed it I can't say People just liked it better that way
So take me back to Constantinople No, you can't go back to Constantinople Been a long time gone, Constantinople Why did Constantinople get the works That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul (Istanbul) Istanbul (Istanbul)
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam Why they changed it I can't say People just liked it better that way
Istanbul was Constantinople Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople Been a long time gone, Constantinople Why did Constantinople get the works That's nobody's business but the Turks
So take me back to Constantinople No, you can't go back to Constantinople Been a long time gone, Constantinople Why did Constantinople get the works That's nobody's business but the Turks
7 comments:
Could I be any more offensive? Could I really? Here I am, in one fell swoop, casting aspersions on the all-sufficiency of Turquoise honeyed pastries and dorsal massages, all for the sake of an altogether pointless pun. Sorry, world.
Bah, no doubt there was plenty o' room for a joke about footstool dynasties. Also, if possible, I would have tried to incorporate "secrétaire à abattant" in there, somewhere. I remain convinced hilarity would have ensued.
Baklava without frontlava is just a load of palava and we should have nothing more to do with it.
I indeed Turkish Delight without Turkish Disgust.
I? That should say And.
And Istanbul without Istanbulshit (sorry Mum).
I'm sure your mum fully understands and is sympathetic to the cause. All I can do is point to the wise words of Jimmy Kennedy, as immortalised by They Might Be Giants:
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night
Every gal in Constantinople
Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople
So if you've a date in Constantinople
She'll be waiting in Istanbul
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way
So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul (Istanbul)
Istanbul (Istanbul)
Even old New York was once New Amsterdam
Why they changed it I can't say
People just liked it better that way
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks
So take me back to Constantinople
No, you can't go back to Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople
Why did Constantinople get the works
That's nobody's business but the Turks
Istanbul!
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