Wednesday, 19 December 2007

The Citizens Electoral Council of Australee Strikes Again

Tell Bali to pack up and go home. News just in from the Citizens Electoral Council: "Argentine scientists say sun, not humans, behind climate change". Thank goodness for that. And printed on 100% recycled email too.

I suggest we excise a suitable portion of the sun (exact quantities to be determined by Argentine scientists), seal it in lead boxes and bury it at Maralinga or send it to another solar system or something. Then we can stop all this nonsense about peat bogs, and get on with solving real problems, like how to protect small children from the terrorist recruitment cells infiltrating myspace.

Who are these people and how did they get my email address?


Eyrie* said...

This is who they are! They also support a nuclear desalination plant.

*I don't understand my pseudonym, but I find that strangely amusing.

Anonymous said...

They got your email because you move in elevated circles
That's how important you are

alexis said...

Quite right, Anon. Once the CEC has convinced me that climate change theory is a genocidal eugenicist swindle led by a British financial oligarchy, the UN will be falling at their feet.

alexis said...

You know, Eyrie, as in Eagle's Nest.

(Thanks for that Lineham snip. Looks like the Larouchists camped out for the seats.)

Martin Kingsley said...

My advice, and as I am an internationally accredited medical doctor I advise you to take it, is to point cruise missiles in the general direction of Argentina and do a passable imitation of the Thatcher government circa '82, in the hope that you will demonstrate the appropriate patriotic feeling and find yourself a member of the Inner Circle of the Citizens Electoral Council. Then, and only then, will your questions be answered. Hardly a mote of effort involved!

Alternatively, sign the reply email address up for spam en-masse, at the following link: HERE!

Ahem. You didn't hear it from me.

alexis said...

Excellent advice, Martinski. I will follow it to the letter, except for the bit about attacking Argentina and enspamulating the CEC. Just to make sure everyone's clear on this, the CEC likes the Argentine scientists.

Martin Kingsley said...

As if anybody's going to come up with a better idea than a Thornbury vs. The Falklands Christmas Special.



eyrie said...

For some reason (the season?), I was thinking of Eeyore, instead of the obvious explanation and I thought "Yes, that suits me". Then I thought of Eeyore swimming in Lake Erie. Which is to say, I like it very much!

I don't want to give anyone any ideas which would be completely fanciful, but we're buying our new nuclear reactor from Argentina, you know.

And to be perfectly boring: CEC probably have your email address because it's listed on a website or websites (the university one, for instance) and they use email-fishing software. Their fight against the Illuminati, the Eugenicist Environmentalists and other menaces is so important that they must employ the techniques of less worthwhile organisations.

alexis said...

Eeyore! Nice.

TimT said...


Used Argentinian nuclear reactors sold here! Very cheap! You like this one? It was used only by a little old lady every Sunday to power her oven so she could bake radioactive scones for her family.

Or how about this one? Sure, it's got a dent there, and a little crack running around the core reactor on the other side, but nothing a little paint job couldn't fix. Hey, companiero, you want this one? I can do you a good deal; you switch me ten thousand spent fuel rods and I give you it. No problemo! In the event of nuclear meltdown, send me a message. I'll be holidaying in my nuclear bunker in Hawaii, and get back to you, pronto! Buenos nochas, senoritas!

TimT said...

Actually, I'd be quite happy if Nino from Argentina sold me a few good old Latinate consonants. They're in short supply in my current games of Scrabble.

alexis said...

You want a checked tie for Christmas, Tim? And a polyester suit? Is that what you're saying?

TimT said...

Don't know, but when I did a google search for the term 'checked tie and polyester suit', google gave me a weird message and a verification code to type in. No matter how many times I typed in a code, another one came up. It wouldn't let me complete the search because it thought I was spam!

Evidently the checked tie and polyester suit have a bad reputation!

eyrie said...

A fanciful suggestion cannot pass a suggestible mind without sparks, but those in the know tell me that Argentinian reactors are certainly not what you imagine.

I'm being slaughtered in scrabble too and I've been balancing my rack so studiously!