I have been an unconscionably absent blogger, and I herewith apologise for leaving you all (yes, you, Mum) in quivering anticipation. My brain hath on vacation been, and it was only today, upon my body's joyful reunification with the workplace, that I remembered how to type.
And a good thing, too, because: I was reduced to indecorous cackles this evening at the gym, many thanks to that paragon of current affairs reporterie, Today Tonight. Its special feature on the Australian illiteracy pandemic (Boy interviewed in shopping mall can't spell "receive"! Quick! Someone fetch a box of chalk and a slipper!) was accompanied by the text, "Arithmatic Reading Writing".
"Arithmatic", more commonly known by the orthographers amongst us as "arithmetic". Joyous ironies like that don't come my way too often; though on the joyous irony front, there was stiff competition from the "Hurry, everybody, panic! Studies show that we're more anxious than ever!" story, and from Today Tonight's Expert on the psychobiology of "cradle snatching", which Expert observed, "I don't mean to be sexist, but men are more visual and more fickle than women". No, that's not sexist, and women are naturally better at frosting cupcakes. Today Tonight really is the go-to show for masochistic ironiphiles such as m'self.
Seeing I've already outed myself as an antisocial pedant, cast thine een over this headline: "Finally, Australia get a break". Australia has apparently become a plural noun, possibly of Australium. If anyone still needed convincing that the Piddly Morning Herald ain't half the broadsheet it used to be, look no further. Mutter, mutter, grumble, snort.
Where did I leave my Zimmer frame?
In other news entirely: puppy!