Wednesday, 16 July 2008

Inter-mammal socialising

As my first houseguest at Harlot Heights, X (I didn't quite catch her name) enjoyed certain privileges, viz., scratching the armchair, sitting on the bookshelf, licking a blob of mushroom risotto on the kitchen floor, privileges that will not (I repeat, not) be extended to future visitors. Pipped at the post, comrades. Sorry about that.


Lefty E said...

If I've read this post correctly, you're saying cats don't lay eggs?


kiki said...

you know obama is a fundamentalist muslim right??

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

And apparently he has a third nipple too.

TimT said...

Facts about animals, by Timothy H Train

Cats don't lay eggs
Fish don't have legs
Squids cannot fly
And neither can I.

Pigeons don't swim
Glow-worms aren't dim
Giraffes aren't too strong,
And lion necks aren't long.

Sheep don't read books
And neither do chooks
I'm not sure about gnus
And wildebeests, too.

Wigs don't have ears
But ears have earwigs
Pox doesn't have chickens,
And dogs don't eat figs.

Cocks never roach,
Cockroaches do rarely,
Humans wear clothes,
Chimps move about barely.

Dalmatians aren't stripy,
Zebras have no spots;
Rhinos aren't small,
Penguins rarely get hot.

Clams sometimes have beards
And live in the sea
And sometimes, dear reader,
That's true also for me.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

You've outdone yerself, Timothy H Train. I'm not sure about dogs not eating figs, though. I know a dog who wouldn't say no.

TimT said...

Sorry -

Figs never eat dogs -
But dogs sometimes eat figs;
Pigs can't be people,
But people can be pigs.

TimT said...

As you can see, I am concentrating very hard on my work. I am as rapt as the raptor!

Martin Kingsley said...


Lefty E said...

Anyway, you never know. Among this motley collection of pseudonymous blogistas may be some **famous aufors**, already sitting on the baronic bookshelf.

Sit on that egg, cat. Hmmph!

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Sure. Okay. Visitors ARE allowed to sit on the bookshelf. They're not allowed to scratch the armchair, though. Or wee in my hat.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Timiny Rimesmith, why can't pigs be people?

TimT said...

Well, you never know. Perhaps parental pigs do chide their offspring for not being sufficiently messy by saying, "Look at your room! It looks like an absolute human-sty!" And you have to wonder if pigs do chide one another for undereating thusly: "Stop making such a human of yourself!" But I seriously doubt if worker pigs go about talking about "Bringing home the salty cured manflesh", it just doesn't ring true.