Sunday, 30 March 2008

Since I'm now the landed gentry

I am changing my name to Baron von Harlot.

21 comments:

nailpolishblues said...

Landed gentry? Would it help if I sent you some turf?

TimT said...

Con-grat-ululations! I shall be whips and blunderbuss for defence of your estates post haste, Baron. Also, maybe a little team of assorted gentry to go with landedness.

TimT said...

Bah. I shall be *sending* whips and blunderbuss...

I'm a blunderbuss, I am!

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Just a small patch, if you would, Nails, and a garden gnome.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Thanks, Squire Timoth! You can live in the cupboard under the sink.

Ampersand Duck said...

Welcome to the Kingdom of Mortgage, where every dollar is spent with interest.

The Marquis de Duck*


(*Because my house is about as big as a marquee)

nailpolishblues said...

As you wish, my liege. Um, should the gnome look like Tim or Martin or maybe one of each?

Martin Kingsley said...

Tim is much more presentable. A gnome made in my image would probably become self-aware and sentient, and then make it its business to conquer the world, or at least an appreciable fraction thereof.

lucy tartan said...

And since you done it on purpose, I guess that makes you the Deliberately Baron von Harlot?

nailpolishblues said...

Whereas a Tim-gnome would remain dumb, Martin..?

I think you'd make a sweet gnome. Dungarees and a leetle fishing rod...

Martin Kingsley said...

I can only speak for mashelf, Nails. Don't want to put words in Tim's adorable little gnomic mouth.

nailpolishblues said...

I supect that Tim's, um, adorable little gnomic mouth doesn't need help with words. The same can be said about your adorable little gnomic mouth, Martin.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Actually, if it's not too much trouble, I'd like a sixty-four piece chess comprised entirely of miniature garden-gnomic Tims and Martins, carefully fashioned to resemble queens, pawns, rooks, etc. Got that? Tims and Martins turned into garden gnomes turned into chess pieces. (But only with their consent. I don't want to get all high-handed in my baronetcy.)

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Deliberately Baron! Ha! Maybe I could get a Heffernan gnome too.

nailpolishblues said...

Heffernan gnome pawns..?

eyrie said...

Alexis, remind me to tell you the story of when a friend of mine met Heffernan some time more discreet than now.

TimT said...

Kingsley and Train pieces would make for any number of double entendres:

Kingsley queens!
Train pawns Kingsley!
Kingsley queens Train!
Train queens pawn, mates Kingsley!
Kingsley mates Train!

(etc, etc. Somebody had to say it, and that somebody didn't have to be me.)

Hugo the Hippo said...

I've just declared a hippopotamical microstate, and was wondering whether you or your future bathroom accoutrements would care to establish diplomatic relations?

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Excellent plan. I'll have my pot plant draw up the terms of alliance forthwith.

Hugo the Hippo said...

Right then. I'll get on to a name for the treaty. The Rent Embassy has a nice ring to it don't you think, even if circumstances have changed for some of us.

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