Thursday, 7 February 2008

Sexmensual, or Lexicon Harlot puts the Lexicon back into Lexicon Harlot

If something happens once every six months, or has six months' duration - and lots of things do, like solstices, or half-yearly detox programs, or dental appointments, as recommended by dentists - then it deserves a word, and if that word isn't going to be a ye olde "six-monthly", if it's going to get all Latinate on our glottises, then it should comprise sex (Latin for six), menses (Latin for months), and whatever suffix mutation you fancy to indicate that the word is functioning as an adjective. By my reckoning, that gives us "sexmensual". Instead, what do we get? We get "semesterly", which is a coy, anodyne, weak, corrupt, inferior and altogether bogus substitute, with no x. X, I might as well point out here, is the letter of Our Lord, and also of an esteemed Brisvegan brewery, and deserves better than to be elided into non-existence. Henceforth, I will refuse to speak of "semesters". I will speak of "sexmenses". And I will refuse to say "semesterly". I will say "sexmensual". Or "sexmestrial", if I'm feeling jaunty.

Maybe.

7 comments:

Hugo the Hippo said...

As a recent ex of Aquae Sextiae and conoisseur of XXXX-en-Provence, I must applaud your mention of our Brisvegan cousins but feel you do them far too much honour. Clever puns and (x-?)factors of twelve are no match for not being able to spell, unless one is to consider adding herbs to the preparation!

prude said...

It is a sad day when sex has to come into everything, even if only every six months.

On another note, I is writing an adaptation of some literature, that is Romeo + Juliet for Prudes I is thinking certain classics could do with a Prudey touch. I am quite interested in what youse is thinking of the improvements. It is written in instalments so I has just begin. I is not sure which tale I should move onto next - any suggestions?

R.H. said...

I'd like the sex taken out of The Sweet Sins of Sexy Susan.

It wouldn't leave much else but women need to find other ways to inspire interest.

JahTeh said...

Do you know what kinds of internet creepers that post is going to bring?

prude said...

I thinks it could be worse if it was sexmenstrual. Or sex sensual

Then considering the bad spelling of people on the internet perhaps it has done the worst damage already.

They is not competent at their English like Prudey here. I twist words to my will!

Mark said...

To embiggen your already perspicacious lexicon I hereby present a web page with lots of big words and stuff. Enjoy!

alexis said...

Magniferous gratitude to you, Dr Mark.