This beagle was left behind at home in Tennessee while his people went off to buy tacos. Where I come from, he would merely have spent the day gnawing the front door.* Americanian beagles, however, are invigorated in tooth and claw by the principles of life, liberty and the Americanian way, and they will not be content with gnawing down a single door. Nothing less than complete and utter domestic destruction will satisfy their desire for justice: you eat taco without me? I eat house without you.
*This is true. Wilbur Harlot has attacked two separate doors in two separate houses. When they were trying to sell their house in Sydvillea, my parents had to send off by mail for a spray-on gnaw-repellant called "Bitter Yuck".
Photo courtesy Josh Anderson/Reuters, via the New York Times.
4 comments:
N.B. I realise that this post is grossly insensitive to the people of Tennessee, who have just suffered freakishly destructive weather and are probably feeling battered enough without my casting aspersions on the good character of their beagles.
People of Tennessee, my thoughts are with you. I hope the roaming hounds bring light and peace to your hearts.
As if there could possibly be a better caption for that photo than the phenomenally hilarious and guffaw-inducing, "you eat taco without me? I eat house without you." As if.
The Nietzschean Uberbeagle!
Thanks, comma-rades. It would have done Nietzsche a lot of good to spend time with an Uberbeagle.
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