Friday, 18 January 2008

Of louse and licenses

Don't anyone be intimidated by my organisation and all-round life skills, but I'm proud to announce that a mere 11 months and 8 days after my migration to the Deep South I am now a card-carrying carrier of a card known in motoring circles as a Victorian Driver's License. I will be using my Victorian Driver's License to drive my Audi down to the car sales yards, just as soon as I win my Audi in a fortuitous concourse of raffle tickets I am yet to purchase. Until, and after, that great voyage, my Victorian Driver's License will sit snugly in my wallet, and I will pretend that it is not a Victorian Driver's License, but a Victorian License - nay, a License to Be Victorian!

To Whom It May Concern, By the Grace and Favour of Her Majesty Queen Victoria, Empress of India, the Bearer Is Permitted to Wear Knick-Knacks and Notions in Her Bonnet, to Write Poetry about Cockerspaniels, to Invest in Railway Shares, to Blather On About the Crimea, and the Woman Question, and to use words like "Nincompoopiana".

Don't mention the cholera. (Or the child labour, prostitution, limited franchise, whale oil, beards.)

I'll say this for Victorian Driver's Licenses, they cost only a third as much as New South Welsh 'uns. I'm wondering if this is because Victoria only sports a third as many kilometres of roads.


Martin Kingsley said...

We may sport only 33% of the coverage, but we've got 150% of the reasonably-priced and very competitive road-based excitement, as stated in a survey I've just made up and supported by nine out of ten dentists.

Congrats on the license, by the by. I've had my head stuck under the desks of people who are not me, and buried in the important circuitry of their computing devices during times when it would have been a good idea for me to get a license, and as such I've entirely given up on the possibility of having the time.

Thankfully, it makes me look ahead of the curve to not sport a license such as the above-listed. I will also, when pressed, cite the life experience of famous Britainian Michael Caine, who did not attain his license until somewhere in his latter years.

alexis said...

Other famous Britons, like Boadicea, Sir Isaac Newton, and Mrs Radcliffe, never attained their licenses, and good on 'em, I say.

eyrie said...

Is that the same licence one would use as ID to get into this sort of establishment? What Victoria lacks in roads, I'm sure it more than makes up for in the licentiousness to which each Victorian licence holder is entitled.

I have no licence and I live on a branch line!

nailpolishblues said...

Oh good, next time I am mocked for my lack of drivability, and therefore license, I shall cite Newton as my historical precedent. I wonder why I never thought of that before?

Maria said...

Hi there, martin, eyrie, nailpolishblues, I too have no license. But I'm thinking about getting a Learner's permit in NSW no less, this year - if only to have something to blog about. Never done the Learner's before, might as well start sometime ... and somewhere ... what the heck! I'll be a mature age learner, acting like a two-year-old.

You'll probably find that after I've attained it, if I do, I'll never drive again.