Is that ye astride the Bronzed Beast, Doctor? If so, has all sense of decorum deserted you?! Mon dieu! Whatever will Mme Truffle say?
Are you planning on riding that Iguana all the way to Melbourne? Take a Komodo dragon with you as replacement, just in case. In Melbourne, incidentally, all the Iguanas have been privatised. Some object to the selling off of the much-loved State Iguana service, but being something of a Timmy-come-lately myself, I hold no strong opinions on the matter. Anyway, there are still plenty of reptiles in the public service, so that's nothing to worry about.
Good point, Nottlesby. I can't think what came over me. Letting myself be photographed without my gloves on! Heaven forfend! I'll be flashing my ankles next.
Timnus: my first measure as Victorian premier will be to reinstitute state custody of the iguanas. Recent RSPCA provisions prohibit the long-distance riding of single iguanas, so I'm going to have to hook up some-kind of six-iguana sled apparatus for my trip south.
I for one wonder why there is so much regulation of the iguana service. Not allowed to ride iguanas long-distance? Haven't they heard the old song?She'll be riding six white iguanas when she comes, She'll be riding six white iguanas when she comes, She'll be riding six white iguanas,She'll be riding six white iguanas,She'll be riding six white iguanas when she comes.Soon they'll be changing the words to that, I'll warrant. It's political correctness gone mad!
Well, somehow I don't think that singing "She'll riding six non-gender-specific, racially ambiguous reptiles" is within the ken of even the most zealously politically correct chorister.And all that riding? Well, one does wonder... The Reptile Lib people will be calling us soon, I fancy.
I know it's inconvenient, all this overblown iguana rights hoopla, but it's an understandable reaction to the bad old days. Few people realise that it was illegal for iguanas to unionise until 1871, or that adult male iguanas didn't have the vote until 1953. As for the iguanesses, they were totally disenfranchised until second wave feminism took up their cause in the 1970s. I, for one, would prefer to put up with a little over-regulation than revert back to a time when iguanas, virtually to a lizard, suffered intolerable workplace conditions.
You forget, my dear Doctor, the Great Iguana Putsch of '98 - that's 1898, of course. Under the stout leadership of Phinneas O'Guana, the Putsch certainly tipped the House of Lords in favour of granting them rudimentary social rights, privileges &c. The tumult also brought about the founding of the First Iguana Temple, a minority religious order established to minister, initially, to the bereaved families of male Iguanas who went they way of all (cold-blooded) flesh in what became known colloquially as "O'Guana's Folly" - an ill-conceived plot to blow up the Prime Minister's country Loge using nothing but spare Guy Fawkes Night crackers and a few tins of petrol. Unfortunately the only thing that brave and noble O'Guana blew up was himself and about 90 male Iguana. It was a dark time indeed, and one best not forgotten.
Ah yes, of course. Your comments remind me, too, of that famous iguana punk-rocker, Iggy Pop, who pioneered the stage dive, and confounded zoologists the world over by smearing raw meat on his chest (a feat hitherto unprecedented amongst iguanas, who were believed until then to have been herbivorous).
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