Three, common ones, dispersed across the fingers of my right hand. The pharmacist today was unimpressed when I said proudly, "These are my first ever warts! The beginning of a long and happy relationship."
I will be dunking my hand in a vat of hydrochloric acid shortly.
13 comments:
The origin of the warts shouldn't be hard to find, just look for the warty student who handed in the warty essay.
If you don't want to go the chemical way, try a good quality pure lemon oil instead.
You really are a witch! Curing warts and all. Thanks for the lemon oil tip. I've already invested in some fancy wartocide, though the directions advise that the fancy wartocide may take up to 12 weeks to take effect, and warts can self resolve in a matter of months anyway. If it weren't for the fact that I don't want to infect anyone, I'd consider just keeping them, for added character.
You bin kissing frogs?
Wart remedy. Get a girlfriend, esplain to her she is going to be instrumental in 'magicking' off your warts. Get a bean, cut the bean lengthways, remove the seeds, rub the seeds onto the wart and as you do so, get girlfriend to say magic words. Just use standard magic words. Not going to spell 'em out here, its a secret. Suffice to say they are the stock standard ones. Go out into garden and bury the entire bean. As the bean rots, your warts will fade away, or as in the case of the whopping great plantar I had on the top of my toe, literally fall off.
Guaranteed to work. Really. I have used it on at least half a dozen warts, on self and others with 100% success since this 'spell' was revealed to me by a little old lady wife of advertising exec.
I can see the personals ad now: "Wart-ridden baron seeks maiden for fun and friendship. Must have own beans."
Wait, I think I know what the standard magic words are.
"My names Kevin. I'm from Queensland, and I'm here to help."
Did they sprout overnight, or did you watch them grow from little lumps to big? Just curious.
I noticed them about a fortnight ago, but they may have been burbling along without my attention for a while. They're still pretty little, no more than 2mm in diameter, and the same colour as my healthy skin.
If they start singing and/or dancing the Charlestown, be afraid - be VERY afraid.
Recommended viewing for anyone considering an unaesthetised caesarian section (minus the dancing alien). Otherwise, do not click on Timothy's link.
I love the way you can see the stick stuck up its arse at the end of the clip.
I had a wart on my lower lip as a child. My brutal GP (the father of a boy in my class) burned it off, and left a scar that is bigger than the original wart. I wish we'd known about lemon oil and/or green beans...
Nuts to lemons! Fig leaf sap, applied daily will do the trick in no time.
Alternatively, (and if you have no beans) climb the fig tree in search of the giant and his goose.
My made-in-Ireland wartocide seems to be doing the trick, eliminating warts along with all the flesh in their vicinity. Actually, I can no longer tell whether I have warts or not, because everything's been obliterated.
I’m here to testify about what Dr James did for me. I have been suffering from (GENITAL HERPES VIRUS) disease for the past 4 years and had constant pain and itching, especially in my private part. During the first year, I had faith in God that i would be cured someday.This disease started circulating all over my body and I have been taking treatment from my doctor nothing is working out, few weeks ago I came across a testimony of Pedro, on the internet testifying about a Herbalist called Dr James from West Africa, on how he cured Him from 7 years HSV 2. And He also gave the email address of this man... [drjamesherbalmix@gmail.com]..., advising anybody to contact him for help on any kind of diseases that he would be of help, so I emailed him telling him about my (HSV 2) he told me not to worry that I'm going to be cured!! Well, I never doubted him. I have faith he can cure me too,, Dr James prepared and sent me Healing Oil, Soap, roots and herbs which I took. In the first one week, I started experiencing changes all over me, after four weeks of using his Roots/ Herbs, Oil and Soap, I was totally cured. no more itching , pain on me anymore as Dr James assured me. After some time I went to my doctor to do another test. the result came out negative. So friends my advice is if you have such disease or know anyone who suffers from it or any other disease like HPV, HBV, HIV/AIDS, ALS, HBP, CANCER,NEPHROTIC SYNDROME, etc. you can contact Dr James herbal mixed the home of wellness direct on his.... drjamesherbalmix@gamil.com... He is a good man,and He will help you.
Post a Comment