Friday, 22 August 2008

Hello, blog

I have been too busy at karate class, learning how to make people fall over, to outline here my solution to the Israel-Palestine problem, my cure for the common cold, or my new peacan chocolate brownie recipe; nor have I had time to share with you my "Ode to the Hens Next Door", or document the many-splendoured variations on noodles that have lately sated the Harlot paunch - oh! and neither have I mentioned the Doris Leadbetter Poetry Cup, which I glimpsed across a crowded lawn bowls club last Saturday night as it was whisked off by a wordy young lovely bearing no resemblance to my self (which Doris Leadbetter Poetry Cup, I now draw to your attentions, is the most bovinesquely named poetry cup in the entire world [no offence to Doris Leadbetter herself, whom I'm sure wouldn't have been seen dead scratching her ear with her back hoof]), nor, for that matter, have I regaled you with the antics of Wilbur Harlot, which have been many and dogly, and which my parents communicate to me along with photographic evidence on a thrice weekly basis by e-pistle. But I am now able to make people fall over.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on parenthetical nesting worthy of a mathematician.

[Falls over]

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Some have parents, but I have mathematicians in loco parenthesis.

TimT said...

It's the amanuensis of the parenthesis!

eyrie said...

Off-topic, sorry: could you please remind me of the location of the "no nuisance" sign? I know I've seen it in the flesh and trying to remember is going to KILL me.

TimT said...

The Commit No Nuisance sign is in the centre of Melbourne - I think it's on a laneway between Little Bourke Street and Lonsdale Street, in the Chinatown part of the city. Can't remember the laneway's name.

It is a wise sign indeed.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Please refer all further questions about signs to the Rt. Rev. TimT, the omniscient.

TimT said...

Me? Both Rt., Reverend, AND omniscient?

Are you sure you aren't mistaking 'Reverend' with 'Revered'?

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Um. Er. Um?

TimT said...

Um. Er. Um?

I could not fail to disagree with you less, my liege Baron.

eyrie said...

That's very curious, as I thought that maybe it was in London and then I googled it and found that there are apparently lots of them in London (which seems to be in the origin, although it apparently spread to other places too and there's a reference in Ulysses). They are, Uncle Google tells me, predominantly of late-Victorian and Edwardian vintage and the meaning is indeed the indelicate one you would suspect (that is, please don't use this place as a toilet- is that a covert comments policy?).

Not that I wish to dispute Tim's omniscience and I would certainly never fail to revere as I should.

lucy tartan said...

There are probably a lot of them around. There's certainly one in Heffernan Lane, CBD, which is home also to Melbourne's two most awesome awful restaurants with bad food, brilliant decor, and politically incorrectly hilarious names.

eyrie said...

I just think it's interesting that there should be multiple occurrences in Melbourne and none (so far as I am aware) in Sydney.

Don't know Heffernan Lane, but the awfulness must be quite refreshing after the self-conscious hipness that tends to predominate in the other lane ways.