There's a cunning device attached to this website that notifies me of the briars and snags of world-wide-webitude o'er which intrepid internetians have lept their way hither. This enables me to distill elaborate statistical conclusions. For instance, at least half the people who read this blog appear to do so because they've typed chastity pants into Google. Winner of today's Lexicon Harlot Memorial Prize for Excellence in Googling One's Way to Glory goes to whoever googled Terry Eagleton is my underpants and clicked on the first site that came up.
[Special condition: conferral of your chocolate frog depends on documentary proof that Terry Eagleton is indeed your underpants.]