Wednesday, 21 February 2007

The Eligible Spatula*

Due to poor pantry management at Chateau d'Harlot, Pancake Day 07 wasn't all we'd been hoping for. The milk supplies were dwindling, so I had to supplement with water. The closest thing in the fridge to butter was low fat nuttelex (which, let me tell you, you can believe is not butter). Moreover, I'm yet to invest in a spatula, so I had to do my pancake flipping with a plastic spoon. I ended up celebrating Pancake Day with a plate full of scrambled flour.

Some time ago, I resolved that it would be crass and vulgar and transparently self-interested and altogether improper to post a gift registry on this blog. The very institution of holy matrimony (and its many unwanted kettles) would just as likely crumble within weeks. But if you do happen to be having giftwise thoughts in my general direction, you could do no better than to procure me a nice young spatula. Unless you wanted to buy me a vacuum cleaner. Or a life-sized chocolate beagle.

Speaking of which, rumours have reached me of persons who intend to give up chocolate for Lent. Here I invoke the wise words of a certain academician and brother-in-law I know, "I intend to give up Lent for chocolate." Quite right too.

* kudos to B. Bramble for originating the eligible spatula concept, circa 2001.

11 comments:

Karen said...

It's always a pleasure to hear of someone else who cooks like me!

My annual pageant of getting older is tomorrow, but I think all my loved ones will tactfully avoid the homewares.

Giving up chocolate is certainly not acceptable in my book. I have never given up anything for Lent, even when I was supposed to be a Catholic. Perhaps I gave up being a Catholic for Lent?

TimT said...

All this talk of Flours and Spatulas makes me think this post pertains more to St Valentine's Day than pancake day. Maybe it's just me.

alexis said...

Happy Birdy, Karen! I hope it's a v. nice one. Am rapidly coming to the conclusion myself that the other side of the hill is a fine place to be.

As for kitchenware, after a lifetime of total indifference (although I did have a brief and satisfying relationship with a blue plastic Parisian vegetable peeler that tragically melted in the dishwasher), now that I'm in my Thornburian bachelor pad, I've developed an unhealthy enthusiasm for culinary gadgetry. Show me a nice set of salad servers and chances are I'll go weak at the knees. This I find rather embarrassing.

alexis said...

Ah, Tim, if pancakes be the food of love? 'Fraid not the way I cook 'em. (I'm tempted to make some kind of a salt and battery pun, but shall refrain.)

TimT said...

My cooking skills are such that food of love I cannot provide, but love of food I have in abundance. What is it with pancakes, anyway? Something so seemingly simple, yet so difficult to cook to perfection.

Isn't the trick to heat the pan up for a few minutes before adding the butter and the pancakes? And make the pancakes by adding milk/egg *gradually* to the flour, stirring it in so there are no flour lumps? Ah, such a difficult art.

alexis said...

I've done a passable pancake in the past (my siblings and I used to do a good line in pink pancakes, with the aid of food colouring). Tuesday's batch were so very crepetacular, I think, because they lacked fundamental ingredients (like enough milk).

Adrian said...

Last year, Lent coincided with Chinese New year -- thus the ritualized privations of one tradition meekly jostled for attention with the robust banqueting excesses of another tradition: I gave up Lent for Lent.

alexis said...

V. wise, Adrian. I'm of the celebrate-the-feasts-ignore-the-fasts school of religious and cultural observation.

Karen said...

My embarrassing obsession is with stationery. Both my sisters (who have monopolised all the family's culinary skills between them) share your weakness, so I am familiar with it.

Thank you for the birthday wishes. It went well, not least because I discovered oysters taste wonderful with salmon and wasabi mayonaise. I am not on the other side of the first big hill (30) just yet. Hence I will be wearing something appalling involving lots of hair curlers and face paint at the party this weekend. Did you know that you can now buy party pies in the shape of animals? I'm wondering if I should serve them with shiraz or a nice cab sav and before or after the fairy bread...

alexis said...

Pink lemonade, I reckon. Goes down a treat with a zoomorphic party pie.

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