The very kind Elephant's Child has conferred upon me a Stylish Blogger Award. She doesn't say why, but I think we all know that it's because of my inimitable dress sense. Or possibly my über hipsterish habit of checking out what's going down in ye Oxforde Englisshe Dictionarie.
So, what is going down in ye Oxforde Englisshe Dictionarie? This: the number-one entry for style offers it as a synonym for "stylus", viz., v. pointy writing instrument, useful for the engraving of wax tablets. The style/stylus is used as a "weapon of offence, for stabbing, etc", and figuratively, "as a symbol for literary composition". I conclude from all this that Stylish Blogger Awards are to be dispensed to persons whose writing utensils are mighty mighty.
These Stylish Blogger Awards aren't just all beer and no skittles (where "beer" denotes "fun" and "skittles" denotes "responsibility"). No. Being a Stylish Blogger is like being Miss Universe. You thought an occasional appearance in sequins would suffice, but in fact you have sole custodianship of the cosmos, which means that the people of Venezuela will hold you personally to account if a meteorite interferes with their Foxtel. That is to say, I have some tasks with which I am tasked.
Task One: Make a post linking back to the person who gave you the award.
Done. Ha. Easy.
Task Two: Share seven random things about yourself.
Righto. Bearing in mind that it is impossible for the seven things about myself that come to mind in the next five minutes to be random, here goes.
1. I have a bit of a thing for looking at pictures of turquoise sofas on the internet.
2. I recently saw the person who had been profiled in our local paper as the winner of the shire sustainability award loading her vegetables into plastic bags. I had snooty thoughts (despite the strong probability that she planned to use those plastic bags as nappies for orphaned koalas).
3. When I saw that the Wikipedia entry for Delphinium explained the word's derivation under the heading "Entomology", I immediately enlisted as a Wikipedia editor, and, with intense smugness, corrected "Entomology" to "Etymology".
4. I haven't eaten any animal products all year, and I haven't eaten any animals since December 1993, but (or perhaps therefore) sometimes when I'm digging I look lasciviously at the fat white curl grubs.
5. But what I actually do with them, and the snails, is put them in a bucket and take them on a holiday to the middle of the public oval. Sorry, public oval.
6. I've been on four televised game shows: Sale of the New Century (2000), Wheel of Fortune (2004), Temptation (2007), and Letters and Numbers (2010). The best prize I've won was a telescope, but the 50-inch telly of doom that I sold on ebay was pretty good too.
7. When I was about seven, I hatched a plan to have a hundred children, name them all after flowers, and spend my afternoons making industrial quantities of toffee apples. Fortunately, no part of this plan seems likely to come to pass, though some of the flower names were pretty special. Ranunculus Harlot has a certain je ne sais quoi.
Task Three: Award 15 recently discovered bloggers with this award.
Recently schmecently. Some of the stylishest bloggers I know are:
Livebird: for excellent ruminations on stick insects, all-round goodness, and for posting me sweetpea and cos lettuce seeds. (Oh - forgot to mention that I am open to bribes regarding this extremely remunerative award.)
Twisty Faster: has been educating my socks off for years now. Changed my life and all.
KateO: I'm totally into her lunchbox. She takes good photos. And is wry.
The Alone with Cats Blogger: I would send her money if it made her write more. And I had spare money.
Lucy Tartan: see above.
Pavlov's Cat: super-thinky. V. inspiring.
Dale Slamma: if I needed advice about haircuts, or being fey and whimsical yet intelligent and well-acquainted with the place I put my feet, I would dial 0409 DALE SLAMMA.
Ampersand Duck: ridiculously lovely person; makes things.
Mitzi G. Burger: punstrelsy.
Progressive Dinner Partiers: have tomatoes, will party.
Sterne: has a majillion gabillion different on-again, off-again blogs and such, all grand.
Ann O'Dyne: for blog citizenship and wisdom.
Copperwitch: somewhere between the Swarovski and volcanoes.
Voracious Ex-Vegan: with thanks for the provocaterie.
TimT: international award-winning pantoum-writer, with lovely beard, baking skillz, unstaunchable generosity, and vast repertoire of home-made jokes. (Disclosure clause: is sleeping with judge.)
Task Four: notify award recipients.
Argh. Too hard. Dear recipients, if you're reading this, you have been notified. Otherwise, thank youse all for being grouse.