Thursday, 10 March 2011

Stylish blogger wotsit

The very kind Elephant's Child has conferred upon me a Stylish Blogger Award. She doesn't say why, but I think we all know that it's because of my inimitable dress sense. Or possibly my über hipsterish habit of checking out what's going down in ye Oxforde Englisshe Dictionarie.

So, what is going down in ye Oxforde Englisshe Dictionarie? This: the number-one entry for style offers it as a synonym for "stylus", viz., v. pointy writing instrument, useful for the engraving of wax tablets. The style/stylus is used as a "weapon of offence, for stabbing, etc", and figuratively, "as a symbol for literary composition". I conclude from all this that Stylish Blogger Awards are to be dispensed to persons whose writing utensils are mighty mighty.

These Stylish Blogger Awards aren't just all beer and no skittles (where "beer" denotes "fun" and "skittles" denotes "responsibility"). No. Being a Stylish Blogger is like being Miss Universe. You thought an occasional appearance in sequins would suffice, but in fact you have sole custodianship of the cosmos, which means that the people of Venezuela will hold you personally to account if a meteorite interferes with their Foxtel. That is to say, I have some tasks with which I am tasked.

Task One: Make a post linking back to the person who gave you the award.

Done. Ha. Easy.

Task Two: Share seven random things about yourself.

Righto. Bearing in mind that it is impossible for the seven things about myself that come to mind in the next five minutes to be random, here goes.

1. I have a bit of a thing for looking at pictures of turquoise sofas on the internet.

2. I recently saw the person who had been profiled in our local paper as the winner of the shire sustainability award loading her vegetables into plastic bags. I had snooty thoughts (despite the strong probability that she planned to use those plastic bags as nappies for orphaned koalas).

3. When I saw that the Wikipedia entry for Delphinium explained the word's derivation under the heading "Entomology", I immediately enlisted as a Wikipedia editor, and, with intense smugness, corrected "Entomology" to "Etymology".

4. I haven't eaten any animal products all year, and I haven't eaten any animals since December 1993, but (or perhaps therefore) sometimes when I'm digging I look lasciviously at the fat white curl grubs.

5. But what I actually do with them, and the snails, is put them in a bucket and take them on a holiday to the middle of the public oval. Sorry, public oval.

6. I've been on four televised game shows: Sale of the New Century (2000), Wheel of Fortune (2004), Temptation (2007), and Letters and Numbers (2010). The best prize I've won was a telescope, but the 50-inch telly of doom that I sold on ebay was pretty good too.

7. When I was about seven, I hatched a plan to have a hundred children, name them all after flowers, and spend my afternoons making industrial quantities of toffee apples. Fortunately, no part of this plan seems likely to come to pass, though some of the flower names were pretty special. Ranunculus Harlot has a certain je ne sais quoi.

Task Three: Award 15 recently discovered bloggers with this award.

Recently schmecently. Some of the stylishest bloggers I know are:

: for excellent ruminations on stick insects, all-round goodness, and for posting me sweetpea and cos lettuce seeds. (Oh - forgot to mention that I am open to bribes regarding this extremely remunerative award.)

Twisty Faster: has been educating my socks off for years now. Changed my life and all.

KateO: I'm totally into her lunchbox. She takes good photos. And is wry.

The Alone with Cats Blogger
: I would send her money if it made her write more. And I had spare money.

Lucy Tartan: see above.

Pavlov's Cat: super-thinky. V. inspiring.

Dale Slamma: if I needed advice about haircuts, or being fey and whimsical yet intelligent and well-acquainted with the place I put my feet, I would dial 0409 DALE SLAMMA.

Ampersand Duck: ridiculously lovely person; makes things.

Mitzi G. Burger
: punstrelsy.

Progressive Dinner Partiers: have tomatoes, will party.

Sterne: has a majillion gabillion different on-again, off-again blogs and such, all grand.

Ann O'Dyne: for blog citizenship and wisdom.

Copperwitch: somewhere between the Swarovski and volcanoes.

Voracious Ex-Vegan: with thanks for the provocaterie.

TimT: international award-winning pantoum-writer, with lovely beard, baking skillz, unstaunchable generosity, and vast repertoire of home-made jokes. (Disclosure clause: is sleeping with judge.)

Task Four: notify award recipients.

Argh. Too hard. Dear recipients, if you're reading this, you have been notified. Otherwise, thank youse all for being grouse.


The Elephant's Child said...

If I didn't tell you why I watch out for you it is because I love your sense of humour. And love of words. And probably several other reasons which escape me at the moment (I have been consuming bubbly). And I thought of you yesterday when I created a truly joyous chickpea curry. Which was a complete bugger to make but tasted wunderbar.
WV serviase (as in at your serviase)

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Aw, thanks. You're pretty funny yerself (and so insightful). Not that you need me to tell you that.

Chickpea curry is the bestest. We're having my lactose-free excuse for lasagne tonight.

Mitzi G Burger said...

My face hurts from laughter. Ow! It hurts to articulate "Ow!" so I am silently ow'ing. A TV show called 'Temptation', by the way, leaves itself open to all kinds of suspicions. It sounds rather like a late-night airing late 80s TV soap that featured nudity as its narrative arc.

Ann O'Dyne said...

love the '7 things'.
Flowery children don't always bloom though - mine is an over-privileged sulker and we barely communicate.
Wish I had named her Jazzmyyne instead of Daisy.
Would your boykids have been arboreal? Willow, Beech, Banksia, Alder, Acer, Quercus ...

Kate said...

First of all, thank you for the kind mention! I will have to get on this myself and pass it along.

Second, I LOVE all your turquoise sofas and chairs. I often find myself drooling over fanciful furniture online, too, not that I am in the position to buy. "Window" shopping.

And third! Congratulations on your animal-product-free year so far. That's wonderful!

JahTeh said...

Thank you dear Baron, I was going to name my girl child, 'Willow' but she was a boy and the husband had naming rights.

I'm starting to feel as though I should change mine to Cassandra since every time I post a doom, one seems to happen. Earthquakes and now a supermoon on March 19.

alonewithcats said...

You've made my day. Really. My days have sucked lately, so it's nice to know someone wants more of me. And would pay me. Just like a hooker. I would never accept your money, though. So I guess that just makes me a whore. I'm glad we've cleared that up.

Thanks, kitten. :)

alonewithcats said...

Or maybe a slut?

Sigh. I'm confusing my sex worker vs. loose ladies terms again.

livebird said...

Aw, you're lovely and I'm stoked. But I can't be arsed perpetuating the award. Is that OK? I gave you seeds, remember?

ED said...

Fey! Fey! I have always wanted to be fey.