I had a grapefruit for breakfast today. A grapefruit. Apparently this is the kind of thing people have for breakfast. You know, healthy people in women's magazines, with cleansed livers. Also, my father, every day for a week, several years ago. Grapefruit had the advantage over toast, in that you didn't have to share it with the dog.
It is now two hours since "breakfast", and my stomach is imploding. If the students don't bring biscuits to our Rousseau seminar, I'm going to have to start drawing on my fat reserves, which could have untold effects on my gallant posterior. Anyone with carbohydrates to spare, I'm in room 507.