Friday 27 February 2009

Workarama

I grumbled to one of the karate parents last night about the Dire Impending Imminence of Semester 1. Semester 1, for those of you still using the Gregorian calendar, begins on Monday.

"Sorry?" quoth Karate Parent. "Next week? March 2nd? Do you mean to say you've been on holidays for four months?"

"Oh, no, no, no. Not holidays. Certainly not. I have been Writing and Researching and Attending Conferences ... [cough] ... a conference ... and Preparing Lectures ... thinking about preparing lectures ..."

I could see the thought forming in Karate Parent's mind. It looked something like this: "You privileged lazy bugger." But gentle-hearted karate parent that she is, she said: "Yes, I can see how that would be hard work."

"And I feel like I've only just gotten started. With the writing, you know. And I love teaching, I really do, but I'm going to be doing the writing in stolen time now, and March has come so quickly."

Karate Parent, who wrangles a family and packs away thirty-five hours a week of geriatric nursing in her spare time, looked at me pityingly.

Meanwhile, down at the farm, it's been O-week a-go-go, which - many thanks to Howard-Government-Mandated Compulsory Voluntary Student Unionism - no longer involves students trying to solicit students to join debating societies, women's collectives, beer appreciation clubs, thaumaturge impersonators' cabals. Instead, O-Week manifests with employees (i.e., students trying to fund their education habit) trying to sell to students the wares of international telecommunications conglomerates, newspaper manufactories, Portuguese fried chicken byproduct vendors, and bubbly caffeine delivery devices. In the midst of all which - "Get your Red Bull here! Free Mobile Phone with Every $1500 purchase!" - a few valiant student clubs huddle around their card tables.

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I do like O-week; the place seems so enthusiastic, energetic and optimistic, with all the kids wandering around wide-eyed. I almost start to feel less cynical.

On the other hand, I discovered that we have a wine appreciation society here at Club Mac (MQuaffers - dead witty, that) so at least if I feel particularly cynical I can now drown my sorrows at a discount. Ah, the student life for me!

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Classy. MacQ could probably set up its own vineyard in some of that rambling pasterage.

TimT said...

I feel a need for another student week devoted to copious consumption of alcohol, and a confusing array of political groups who communicate via postmodern jargon. It would also have helpers standing at random points at the university, clutching maps of the university with a red circle on it somewhere saying, 'YOU ARE NOT HERE'.

I'd call this event Disorientation Week. I think it would catch on.

TimT said...

As a matter of fact, during my time as a young Squalor at a certain Squall*, I took on for a short time the sport of Orienteering. I became quite successful at Disorienteering, at one point almost provoking the others to mount a search for me in the surrounding suburbs.

I'm a little sorry I didn't ever pursue a career in Disorienteering now, I think I might have been quite successful at it.

*This is before I attended Puniversity.

Jayne said...

My 12 yr old Feral Beast is beginning a unit via distance ed from Uni of Sth Oz and, I must say, his O-week has been rather quiet :P

TimT said...

Parents! Don't let your child's O-Week turn into an O NO! Week!

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

The distance ed O-weeks are always a bit lacklustre. What's he studying, this beast?

Ah, Tum. You are to undergraduate humour as haloumi is to cheese.

Hugo the Hippo said...

I spent yesterday marvelling at a sea of bright blue t-shirts all emblazoned with the interrogative "Christian?"
No sign of any bright yellow ones with the emphatic "Lion!"
A further consequence of lent, methinks, or at very least student loans in the age of the credit crunch.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Aw. Brings back fond memories of E.U. t-shirts of yore.

Martin Kingsley said...

What? What?! What do those tee-shirts even mean?! Who were they being worn by? How does such a question, posed in such an abrupt manner, help anyone?! WHAT?! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Yes. I think they're meant to be provocations, of something like the very spluttering you do here, MK. And then the wearer can engage the splutterer in further illuminating dialogue. I think that's the idea.

Martin Kingsley said...

...that's both very cunning and very, very stupid, because it is also the kind of thing that leads to ligature marks.

Martin Kingsley said...

God. That's so...so...so. I'm thrashing around in intellectual agony trying to figure out how to combat such a thing and coming up with naught.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

I think it's kinda nice. And it may catch on too. "Jew?" "Agnostic?" "Gay?" "Socialist?" "Libertarian?" "Fancy an icecream?"

Martin Kingsley said...

At its most basic level, I suppose it encourages discourse, which as we all know isn't a bad thing, but hopefully some clever soul will subvert the campaign in a manner similar to the one you've described, robbing it of its efficacy in the process. Then I can go back to throwing rocks at the Scientology building.