Tuesday, 19 December 2006

My vacuum cleaner sucks

But not very well. If you have a spare functional vacuum cleaner and would like to trade for my dog walking services, elementary yodelling lessons, a sizeable collection of used Australian 1988 35c postage stamps, or your very own personalised limerick, sign below. Thanks.

In other news: no. of snail sightings since 9 am yesterday, 0; no. of consecutive days of continuous unwashed jeans wearing, 17; no. of consecutive days of continuous unwashed jeans wearing to go until I beat the official world record, 3789; sleeps til xxxmas, 6.

5 comments:

TimT said...

I don't know about a personalised limerick. How about a personalised villanelle? We don't have enough of those things nowadays.

There's always a sestina, too, of course, but McSweeneys seems to have cornered the market in them.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

For a fully functional vacuum cleaner, I'd be prepared to compose in a verse form of your choice, not exceeding 50 lines.

Trochaic tetrameter ahoy!

TimT said...

How about the Clerihew?

Samuel Coleridge-Taylor
Had a fondness for sesquipadalia
That was shared by Ms. H. (Alexis)
Who was, nevertheless, not so much of a sexist.

TimT said...

Disclosure: I do not, in fact, have a vacuum cleaner, although my flatmate does.

Additional disclosure: I do still have chocolate sauce.

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Sesquipedalianisation
Is the subject of this here oration.
Even if, strictly speaking, my clerihew
Should discuss you.

That is all. I can't squander my truly magnificient versifyings on a non-vacuum-cleaner. It cheapens the currency.

As for the chocolate sauce, I'm still up for a portion (thanks), but it'll have to be quick, because I'm likely to go on a post-Christmas de-chox program.