Good thing your hairs didn't turn spontaneously purple. Imagine what I would have written then.
Hypothetical verse on the occasion of Alexis' hair turning spontaneously purple
Your hair has turned spontaneously purple! The birds quite oddly sing chirple! My hips give a celebratory hurple! Your hair has turned spontaneously purple!
Well, since my friend's barber is undoubtedly infallible, perhaps the rule only applies to those of us who have a gap in our sexiness quotient to fill. There is a maximum ratio of sexiness beyond which none of us may go.
Now when I was a young miss, my Dad used to pay us little kids to "pull out his white hairs".
He would pay 1c per hair.
It was not high rates jobbing but I guess we weren't in a country where we could demand to be sold out to a small textiles factory instead and be paid more for our manual labour.
Later, many years later, we demanded higher rates.
I think we got 2c per hair.
After a while Dad realised that he may go bald if he let us pull out white hairs, and the job was no longer about "find a white hair among the black and then pull" but "randomly pull, it's sure to be white" and no longer asked for the services.
12 comments:
My friend's barber tells him that each new grey or white hair is "a bit of extra sexiness". One should hope that that would apply to women too.
Hopefully it doesn't apply to women. If I were to get any sexier, it'd be cruel.
Pome written on the occasion of six of Alexis's hairs turning grey
Your hair is grey!
Callooh callay!
Wot wot, I say!
How very gay!
Your hair is grey!
I have lots of silver hairs - grey hairs, white hairs etc. You can have some of mine.
Please state your pref for grey, silver or white and number, and I will post to the Harlot asap.
Good thing your hairs didn't turn spontaneously purple. Imagine what I would have written then.
Hypothetical verse on the occasion of Alexis' hair turning spontaneously purple
Your hair has turned spontaneously purple!
The birds quite oddly sing chirple!
My hips give a celebratory hurple!
Your hair has turned spontaneously purple!
Be ware the hurpling of the Timothean hip! Yr poems shed light in my dark and dusty heart.
Maria Full of Grace, thank you for that goodly offer, but far me it from me to unhair my own friends.
Well, since my friend's barber is undoubtedly infallible, perhaps the rule only applies to those of us who have a gap in our sexiness quotient to fill. There is a maximum ratio of sexiness beyond which none of us may go.
You might have noticed that 'chirple' and 'hirple' may not actually be words.
My writing often contains such personal quirkles.
Do not friends unhair other friends?
Now when I was a young miss, my Dad used to pay us little kids to "pull out his white hairs".
He would pay 1c per hair.
It was not high rates jobbing but I guess we weren't in a country where we could demand to be sold out to a small textiles factory instead and be paid more for our manual labour.
Later, many years later, we demanded higher rates.
I think we got 2c per hair.
After a while Dad realised that he may go bald if he let us pull out white hairs, and the job was no longer about "find a white hair among the black and then pull" but "randomly pull, it's sure to be white" and no longer asked for the services.
I have roughly the same number of white hairs just near my right temple. Perhaps we can figure out some kind of time-share symmetry?
Deal. What size shoes do you wear?
Dear Baron, from the advantage point of my extreme age, I can tell you that all other hair turns white including the creepy ones on the chin.
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